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Top 5 Career Killers for Aspiring Eye Candy

I don't know how many women aspire to be video vixens anymore, but from the number of sexy photos I see hitting Twitter and Facebook, it appears to still be a career goal for many. Fair enough. You think you're hot stuff and are intent upon showing the world this by taking off your clothes for total strangers. Well, at least do it right - play to win. Don't just publish a bunch of borderline indecent photos of yourself that you (and your children) will regret later.

Rather than give a road map of what to do (which no one would follow anyway), I'll just list a few things I see women doing that are sure to prevent your meteoric rise to success.

1. Do Not Get a Tramp Stamp Above Your Ass: If anything ever screamed "I'm a no-good worthless harlot" it's the tramp stamp. I can't think of a single model/actress who has risen to fame with one of those (prove me wrong - name one in the comments section). Sure, Megan Fox has that weird tattoo on her back (and she’s trying to get that removed), but it's not the ubiquitous and totally unoriginal tramp stamp above the ass .

2. Stop Tweeting About Your Relationships: You're trying to build a fan base. The last thing guys want to hear about is how you can't wait to go home and fuck your boyfriend. The one exception to this rule would be if you are a nobody and your boyfriend is a somebody (see Kim Kardashian). At least then, it will serve the purpose of bringing you into the spotlight. Otherwise, it's just a fail.

3. Show Some Humility: Twitter and Facebook have made us privy to people's innermost thoughts, and some of them are pretty darn grizzly. If I see one more chick in a thong posing in the mirror with the caption "I'm the baddest bitches!" I think I'll terminate my internet connection. Some of you women don't even know how to pretend you have humility. It's highly unappealing. Showing some modesty; it will set you apart.

4. Stop Showing Everything From The Start: Consider this: J Lo became famous for her backside but she never showed her bare ass - in a thong or otherwise. Instead, she made folks sit through "Anaconda" hoping to catch a glimpse of her in something skimpy. (Alas, it never happened.) Even Kim Kardashian's sex tape doesn't show much of her infamous butt. It's very simple - if you give everything away in your first set of photos and/or video, you won't have anything left to follow that up with. Always keep them wanting more. Words to live by for aspiring vixens.

5. Brand Yourself (e.g., Stop Publishing Anonymous Photos) - It's a common scenario. Some beautiful woman publishes a pic of herself with no top, hands covering her bosom and it makes its way to Tumblr, where it gets over 1,000 comments! But no one knows who she is, so the photos just vanish into cyberspace. From the very beginning, we could connect Kim Kardashian's face (and butt) with her name. It only takes 5 minutes to open Photoshop and type a moniker onto an image. No one is saying you have to use your real name, but for heaven's sake brand yourself in some meaningful way, so that as the hype builds around you it doesn't go to waste. Also, if someone wanted to, say, hire you, it helps if you can be identified.

That's it. No one reads this section anyway Winking , but hopefully the few who do will take something away from it.

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